mY liFe iS eNdinG SoOn

haih.... i m so damm bored... almost a week didnt update my blog de... nth much happen also... i really going to die soon... my life is like no meaning...i dunno y m i leaving on earth... no reasons, really no... every day after college i go back home n on the comp to c whether is there any line for me to steal so i can on9...if can i will on9... go chatting in the forum... but is like nobody talk to me there also... i also dunno y.. my frens in kl also dun talk to me much but they damm noisy wif other ppl.... is there anything wrong wif me? m i so annoying that no 1 cares bout me... i really feel so left out... is not the 1st time actually i felt like dat... sometimes i go out wif my frens also the same... they talk to each other but they dun tell me wat izzit when i ask them... maybe is a secret larr but wanna talk also talk together marrr...talk something else that i know... sometimes i think... wat are frens for?? can any1 tell me... i feel like the so called frens are not treating me as a fren... are frens to be used or in front of them they are nice to u but at the back they talk bad bout u.. are they to be betrayed? frens are supposed to talk to u when u r sad and make u happy... keep secrets... go out together n hv fun...will be always there when needed....i think this is wat are frens called.... i hv plenty of frens... close ones... normal frens.. not really close ones where just always say hi n bye... but wat are really true frens...i really feel like ppl dun treat me as a fren... they like to use me... maybe I m too sensitive so I didn’t voice it out… izzit becuz I hv low self esteem n dun talk much? I m too quite? M I really annoying or ppl c me they dun like me? Do I hv attitude problem? Is not that I treat my frens like wat I mention just now… I really try to help them if there is any problem… when ever they ask me out I will be there… I dun ffk..i dun go there late… but my frens seems to like going late… last min say dun wanna go… this larr that larr all kinds of reason when I ask them out n sometimes my so called fren calls other ppl to go but never call me…dun I exist? They seems like they dun care bout my feelings…I really feel very lonely… I did hv some frens.. really true frens… but there are ipoh n penang n I seldom c them… they advice me to get a bf… the problem is I dun talk to guys much…but doesn’t mean that I m les… n guys dun talk to me also… so how the hell m I going to get a bf like dat… the time is not here yet n I m not so desperate to get 1… I m still waiting…but most of my frens hv bf de… I also feel left out when they talk bout their bf n I dun hv anything to say n it means I m jealous… who doesnt? tell me… haih… I dunno wat the hell m I crapping here.. just wanna let out my feelings I guess… really hope that my frens treat me better…especially the ones I always be wif together in subang…dun always leave me alone…I hope to go back ipoh n stay there or maybe stay in overseas…make frens there…ppl in kl cant be trusted lerrr… but I cant live alone…I need frens…n I dun like to be alone… I dun like staying at home…I like going out…joining activities, gathering…where there are many ppl around…the more the merrier…ok lerrr I think I m going crazy soon… btw just wanna say I pass my the other 2 sub… haih must work harder…some1 innovate me please…I m so damm lazy to study…bye *I hope nobody is reading this* haiH~~~~